Congratulations to Euroguffer Lorem Ipsum (@JonDavie) and wife Amanda. Jon may be languishing in 63rd position, but he is officially top of the world after fathering a small child in the early hours of yesterday morning.??

By the grace of God, the world's newest Scouser arrived at 4.30am Monday morning, thus avoiding England's penalty exit being his first experience of the world.
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??- Available in all good branches of Aldi, yesterday

Sort of NSFW
In case you've not seen this yet,??England Fan Flashes Italian Penalty Taker

Your favourite football cliches
"It's a game of two halves" was particularly popular:

Andy Grey Ron Atkinson on Chile's options: "Chile have three options ??? they could win or they could lose. It???s up to them, the tide is in their court now."
DK Willy In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life
Tim Henman "Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes."?? – HRH Brian Clough
2012sheds gave it 110%
Dario Made-the-Gradi You just can't do that at this level!
Bayer Neverlusen "Rome wasn't built in a day. But I wasn't on that particuar job."
Roy Hodgson Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.
Sepp Bladder The world cup – truly an international event
El Pringle Interesting, very interesting.
Mike Bassett I'm not getting ahead of myself. I'm just taking it one tie-breaker at a time.
Simon Grayson It's a bad time to concede ('cause there are good times??)
roy the hodgson football,bloody hell!
B B Foot At the end of the day
McFuddle 'O Toole Did you smash it?
Benny The Ball Like I said, we gave it 110% like I said.
Strev87 'Football is not a matter of life or death, but rather something more important'
Scotty McNasty For a big lad, he's good with his feet
Steve Mclaren If football was meant to be played in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there.
Ronaldo McDonald?? "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." Ron Atkinson

Or anything by Ron, hilarious :)??
Don revie Dirty Leeds
Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) The most important thing is that we got the three points (Wayne Bridge aka Trigger as Chelsea beat Arsenal in the Carling Cup Final)
Earsane Wanger It's a game of 2 halves innit?
Tom Laidlaw You don't win games without scoring goals.
Toy Dodgson It's balls in the back of the net that count….
Brown Fox I AM NOT A WHEELER DEALER.
Harry Redface Eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhhhhhhaaaaawwwwwwwwww…Unbelievable!!!!! (Gary Neville – Torres Goal / Semi final Champion's League)
Ivor Greatidea I just hit it
George Osborne is a twat "These things tend to even themselves out over the course of a season"
Arsenedof Nowhere He's got a great left peg
Septic Tank Charlton Isn't it called soccer?
Simoneo Huesserelli Every game is a cup final now
Lorem Ipsum Football.?? Bloody Hell.
Bring Back Bobby Robson Pump it at the big man – England manager
Tiki taka my arse – England fan
We're just not very good at football – England Dan
Mr. Awesome Jose Mourinho is a little twat.
Naven Johnson I will lost this tiebreaker for sure 😉
Mrs Euroguff Tremendous!
Is Pele Playing? It usually comes down to which team scores the most.
Toy Bodgson Football's just a branch of science
Kicker Conspiracy Eyebrows to the back stick
Canary Its a gmae of 2 halves
Soccer Sage The team that scores the most points will win.
Yankee's Spankers two world wars and one world cup, doodah, doodah
Bill Shankly Not so much a cliche, more the best fan shout I've ever heard.

At CPFC, Alan Pinkney was having a shocker. The shout went up "Pinkney, you're so shite they should take you off and bring on Perkney!!"

Gazza If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I'd pull the curtains.
Paulo Di Harringtonio "Sh*t – did you see that?" – Alan Partridge
Mozzer Alex Ferguson

"Football. Bloody hell!"

Hansi Mueller after the match is before the match
Vuvuzela???? Andi M??ller: Mailand oder Madrid – Hauptsache Italien!

Andy Moeller: Milan or Madrid – mainly Italy!

Wheat Dodger It's a game of two halves.
Wicked Woy Wodgson I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.
Fabio Crapello It's a game of two halves…
Christophe Woodini It's a game of two halves??
Anjusha Klins-Morinho It's a game of two halves!
Big Ron Colonel Saunders its deja vue all over again
Hatch's Heros Six of one, half a dozen of another.
Trap A Tony I think there gonna try and nick one early door and then park the bus / shut up shop (delete as necessary).??
The Special [Measures] One "If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half-time, it was concentration and focus."
Messi Gardener It's a game of two halves.??
Stevie's Wunders My heart goes out to the lads.??
Normski Gunner We need to give 110% to win this game and we will give that maximum effort today, Brian!
Claudio Inglesias Failte We were robbed
Letina lotagoals?? DES … It's the bitter tasting icing on the filthy tasting cake.?? …. I've e
Dirk Diggler "He's playing in the hole"
Del Garnett The boy's done good, you know, he's covered every inch of grass out there
Swiss T "With the offense you win games, but with the defense you win championships."

And here is the one I hate (consider that I am swiss and we are not participating): "Every defeat is a victory in itself."??

Euroguff University – West Germany v Italy, semi-final World Cup, Mexico 70
As a forerunner of Thursday's match, let's look back to a previous encounter (cold war nomenclature discounted) between these teams. A great match, in the days where games had jazz-samba soundtracks and incredible tracksuits.??Given that stretchers are mandatory today for cramp, it's quite astonishing that Beckenbauer dislocates his shoulder and just gets up by himself.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS2wo_EF3PU?wmode=transparent]

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Tweets for my tweet, sugar for my honey??