Wimbledon starts today – Euroguff day 18

And I had so many ideas for headlines
"Anti pasta"; crude photoshops of the Italian Job; maybe a Cornetto reference or two. The lot!

If only Joe Hart had been to Euroguff University

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Well done to Italy
Fully deserved. And they saved us from what would have been exactly the same fate (but worse) v Germany on Thursday.

NEVER MIND!??
England may be out, but Euroguff is immortal. Three more games to go and anyone could win* All the quarter final exit points are now in, but there are 16 points still to play for.

Kafka Time Loop ??
1 Paulo Di Harringtonio Paul Harrington 72
2= Fabio Crapello Martin B 64
2= Stevie's Wunders Steve Andrews 64
4= Brown Fox Jim Chambers 62
4= Swiss T Thomas Angst 62
6= Ronaldo McDonald?? Cephas Howard?? 60
6= Yankee's Spankers Dave Robertshaw 60
6= Vuvuzela???? Sandra Benfer 60
6= Anjusha Klins-Morinho Anna Wilson 60
10= Tim Henman david hickson 58
10= Sepp Bladder Carl Mesner Lyons 58
10= Simon Grayson Paul Revy 58
10= Arsenedof Nowhere Darren Hanson 58
10= Simoneo Huesserelli Simon Huesser 58
10= Gazza Gary Taylor 58
16= B B Foot Rory 56
16= Mrs Euroguff Mrs Carlosfandango_ 56
16= Canary Simon Barnes 56
16= Christophe Woodini Chris Wood 56
16= Hatch's Heros Chris Matthews 56
16= Letina lotagoals?? Berry 56
22= DK Willy DK 54
22= roy the hodgson harvey 54
22= Harry Redface Dan McGrath 54
22= Naven Johnson Eddie Vassallo 54
22= Kicker Conspiracy Tim Fiddies 54
22= Hansi Mueller Bernd Friedle 54
28= Scotty McNasty Andrew Robb 52
28= Mozzer Paul Conroy 52
28= Wheat Dodger Leanne McGirr 52
28= The Special [Measures] One Tim Donnelly Smith 52
28= Del Garnett Darren Gavigan 52
33= Don revie Simon Andrews 50
33= Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) Matt Brooke-Smith 50
33= Earsane Wanger Paul Shaw 50
33= Tom Laidlaw Tom Laidlaw 50
33= Toy Dodgson Kelsey O 50
33= Ivor Greatidea Steve Edney 50
33= Is Pele Playing? John Orta 50
33= Wicked Woy Wodgson David Patterson 50
41= Andy Grey Darren Holdaway 48
41= Dario Made-the-Gradi David of Crook 48
41= Toy Bodgson Tom Barton 48
41= Dirk Diggler Nik Goodman 48
45= Benny The Ball Nick Townend 46
45= Bring Back Bobby Robson Dan Jamieson 46
45= Trap A Tony Tony Power 46
48= 2012sheds Pete smith 44
48= El Pringle Keith Pringle 44
48= Steve Mclaren JT 44
48= Mr. Awesome Geroge Pokorny 44
48= Big Ron Colonel Saunders Andrew Hartland 44
48= Normski Gunner Norman House 44
48= Claudio Inglesias Failte Claude Tonna-Barthet 44
55= Bayer Neverlusen Rob Broome 42
55= Roy Hodgson John Catterfeld 42
55= Mike Bassett Eamonn Newell 42
55= McFuddle 'O Toole Gordon?? 42
55= George Osborne is a twat Andy Young 42
55= Bill Shankly Bob Steadman 42
61= Strev87 dave strevett 40
61= Septic Tank Charlton Jeremy Crisp 40
63= Lorem Ipsum Jon D 38
63= Messi Gardener Johnny T?? 38
65 Soccer Sage Mike Xenakis 36

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Comfort Tweeting

* winners don't do drugs

Will our boys get a semi? Euroguff day 17

The Germans await and, increasingly, England expects.??

How will the papers take the result? We asked Dr Emmet Brown to explain tabloid timelines:

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Free England hat!

Simply follow these instructions to support the Engerland

  1. Print out this bowler hat
  2. Ask an adult to use some scissors to carefully cut round the edge
  3. Use double-sided Sellotape and stick onto a Cornflakes packet
  4. That's it!
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Standings
Can anyone catch Paulo Di Harringtono?

My Name is, my name is Slim Shady ??
1 Paulo Di Harringtonio Paul Harrington 68
2= Ronaldo McDonald?? Cephas Howard?? 60
2= Yankee's Spankers Dave Robertshaw 60
2= Fabio Crapello Martin B 60
2= Stevie's Wunders Steve Andrews 60
6= Tim Henman david hickson 58
6= Simon Grayson Paul Revy 58
6= Brown Fox Jim Chambers 58
6= Arsenedof Nowhere Darren Hanson 58
6= Gazza Gary Taylor 58
6= Swiss T Thomas Angst 58
12= B B Foot Rory 56
12= Mrs Euroguff Mrs Carlosfandango_ 56
12= Vuvuzela???? Sandra Benfer 56
12= Christophe Woodini Chris Wood 56
12= Anjusha Klins-Morinho Anna Wilson 56
17= DK Willy DK 54
17= Sepp Bladder Carl Mesner Lyons 54
17= roy the hodgson harvey 54
17= Simoneo Huesserelli Simon Huesser 54
17= Naven Johnson Eddie Vassallo 54
17= Kicker Conspiracy Tim Fiddies 54
17= Hansi Mueller Bernd Friedle 54
24= Canary Simon Barnes 52
24= Mozzer Paul Conroy 52
24= Hatch's Heros Chris Matthews 52
24= The Special [Measures] One Tim Donnelly Smith 52
24= Letina lotagoals?? Berry 52
29= Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) Matt Brooke-Smith 50
29= Harry Redface Dan McGrath 50
29= Is Pele Playing? John Orta 50
32= Dario Made-the-Gradi David of Crook 48
32= Scotty McNasty Andrew Robb 48
32= Toy Bodgson Tom Barton 48
32= Wheat Dodger Leanne McGirr 48
32= Del Garnett Darren Gavigan 48
37= Benny The Ball Nick Townend 46
37= Don revie Simon Andrews 46
37= Earsane Wanger Paul Shaw 46
37= Tom Laidlaw Tom Laidlaw 46
37= Toy Dodgson Kelsey O 46
37= Ivor Greatidea Steve Edney 46
37= Wicked Woy Wodgson David Patterson 46
37= Trap A Tony Tony Power 46
45= Andy Grey Darren Holdaway 44
45= 2012sheds Pete smith 44
45= Steve Mclaren JT 44
45= Big Ron Colonel Saunders Andrew Hartland 44
45= Normski Gunner Norman House 44
45= Dirk Diggler Nik Goodman 44
51= Bayer Neverlusen Rob Broome 42
51= Roy Hodgson John Catterfeld 42
51= Mike Bassett Eamonn Newell 42
51= McFuddle 'O Toole Gordon?? 42
51= George Osborne is a twat Andy Young 42
51= Bring Back Bobby Robson Dan Jamieson 42
51= Bill Shankly Bob Steadman 42
58= El Pringle Keith Pringle 40
58= Septic Tank Charlton Jeremy Crisp 40
58= Mr. Awesome Geroge Pokorny 40
58= Claudio Inglesias Failte Claude Tonna-Barthet 40
62 Messi Gardener Johnny T?? 38
63= Strev87 dave strevett 36
63= Soccer Sage Mike Xenakis 36
65 Lorem Ipsum Jon D 34
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??- David Cameron offering moral guidance, yesterday

Up the Twitter

The Hunger Game – Euroguff day 16

QF2: Germany v Greece – exclusive photograph

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QF3: France v Spain
On paper, wine-guzzling France should trounce their bull-bothering neighbours, but there are no easy games at this level

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??

Standings
Just four points were up for grabs for those who had Greece facing an impossible defecit last night

Greece name Grease name ??
1 Paulo Di Harringtonio Paul Harrington 64
2 Yankee's Spankers Dave Robertshaw 60
3= Tim Henman david hickson 58
3= Swiss T Thomas Angst 58
5= Ronaldo McDonald?? Cephas Howard?? 56
5= Mrs Euroguff Mrs Carlosfandango_ 56
5= Fabio Crapello Martin B 56
5= Stevie's Wunders Steve Andrews 56
9= Simon Grayson Paul Revy 54
9= Brown Fox Jim Chambers 54
9= Arsenedof Nowhere Darren Hanson 54
9= Simoneo Huesserelli Simon Huesser 54
9= Gazza Gary Taylor 54
14= B B Foot Rory 52
14= Canary Simon Barnes 52
14= Vuvuzela???? Sandra Benfer 52
14= Christophe Woodini Chris Wood 52
14= Anjusha Klins-Morinho Anna Wilson 52
14= Hatch's Heros Chris Matthews 52
14= The Special [Measures] One Tim Donnelly Smith 52
14= Letina lotagoals?? Berry 52
22= DK Willy DK 50
22= Sepp Bladder Carl Mesner Lyons 50
22= roy the hodgson harvey 50
22= Naven Johnson Eddie Vassallo 50
22= Kicker Conspiracy Tim Fiddies 50
22= Hansi Mueller Bernd Friedle 50
28= Scotty McNasty Andrew Robb 48
28= Mozzer Paul Conroy 48
28= Wheat Dodger Leanne McGirr 48
28= Del Garnett Darren Gavigan 48
32= Benny The Ball Nick Townend 46
32= Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) Matt Brooke-Smith 46
32= Toy Dodgson Kelsey O 46
32= Harry Redface Dan McGrath 46
32= Is Pele Playing? John Orta 46
32= Wicked Woy Wodgson David Patterson 46
38= Andy Grey Darren Holdaway 44
38= 2012sheds Pete smith 44
38= Dario Made-the-Gradi David of Crook 44
38= Toy Bodgson Tom Barton 44
38= Big Ron Colonel Saunders Andrew Hartland 44
38= Normski Gunner Norman House 44
38= Dirk Diggler Nik Goodman 44
45= Bayer Neverlusen Rob Broome 42
45= Mike Bassett Eamonn Newell 42
45= Don revie Simon Andrews 42
45= Earsane Wanger Paul Shaw 42
45= Tom Laidlaw Tom Laidlaw 42
45= Ivor Greatidea Steve Edney 42
45= Bring Back Bobby Robson Dan Jamieson 42
45= Bill Shankly Bob Steadman 42
45= Trap A Tony Tony Power 42
54= El Pringle Keith Pringle 40
54= Steve Mclaren JT 40
54= Septic Tank Charlton Jeremy Crisp 40
54= Mr. Awesome Geroge Pokorny 40
54= Claudio Inglesias Failte Claude Tonna-Barthet 40
59= Roy Hodgson John Catterfeld 38
59= McFuddle 'O Toole Gordon?? 38
59= George Osborne is a twat Andy Young 38
59= Messi Gardener Johnny T?? 38
63 Strev87 dave strevett 36
64 Lorem Ipsum Jon D 34
65 Soccer Sage Mike Xenakis 32

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